Today in History: July 18

10th Circuit Rule on Bishop v. Smith- July 18, 2014

From the Washington Blade:

The ban on same-sex marriage in Oklahoma violates the constitutional rights of same-sex couples living in the state, a federal appeals court ruled Friday.

In a 2-1 decision, a three-judge panel on the U.S. Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in the case of Bishop v. Smith that Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional on the basis of a similar decision the court reached against Utah’s marriage ban.

Writing for the majority in a 46-page decision, U.S. Circuit Judge Carlos Lucero, a Clinton appointee, said the court’s ruling in the Oklahoma case “is governed by our ruling” in the Utah lawsuit, Kitchen v. Herbert.

Senate Confirms First Out Gay Man For Federal Bench- July 18, 2011

From the Washington Blade:

The U.S. Senate made history on Monday by confirming for the first time ever an openly gay male to serve as a federal judge.

By a vote of 80-13, the Senate confirmed J. Paul Oetken, whom President Obama nominated in January to sit on the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. A simple majority was required to confirm Oetken.

Today in History: July 17

EEOC Rules on LGBT Discrimination- July 17, 2015

From the Hill:

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) ruled that existing federal protections against workplace discrimination based on sex also apply to sexual orientation.

In its opinion, following a 3-2 vote, the EEOC said " 'sexual orientation' as a concept cannot be defined or understood without reference to sex," The Washington Post reported.

The final ruling, which stems from a complaint filed in 2012 by a man who claimed he was denied a job because he is gay, constitutes the EEOC’s official interpretations of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the primary statute governing employment discrimination claims against both public and private employers that will guide future EEOC enforcement of federal nondiscrimination laws.

Same-Sex Marriage Legalized in the UK- July 17, 2013

From the BBC:

Same-sex couples will be able to get married in England and Wales after new measures became law.

The government's controversial legislation on the issue received Royal Assent on Wednesday.

The Conservative, Labour and Liberal Democrat leaderships all backed the proposals, which were finally approved by MPs and peers earlier this week.

It is expected that the first gay and lesbian wedding ceremonies will take place by summer next year.

Protests begin over COO of Chick-Fil-A Comments & Donations- July 17, 2012 

From the Advocate:

Dan Cathy, the chief operating officer of Chick-fil-A, said there is no denying that his company opposes marriage equality.

Cathy said that he does not feel right billing Chick-fil-A as a Christian business because, as Christian business mentor Fred Roach once said, "There is no such thing as a Christian business ... Christ never died for a corporation."

However, Cathy told the Baptist Press he aims to operate the restaurant chain "on biblical principles." When asked whether his company had an established position against marriage equality, Cathy said, "guilty as charged."

Today in History: July 16

FDA Approves Truvada- July 16, 2012

Link to the FDA Press release:

Today, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Truvada (emtricitabine/tenofovir disoproxil fumarate), the first drug approved to reduce the risk of HIV infection in uninfected individuals who are at high risk of HIV infection and who may engage in sexual activity with HIV-infected partners. Truvada, taken daily, is to be used for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) in combination with safer sex practices to reduce the risk of sexually-acquired HIV infection in adults at high risk[...] 

"Today’s approval marks an important milestone in our fight against HIV," said FDA Commissioner Margaret A. Hamburg, M.D. "Every year, about 50,000 U.S. adults and adolescents are diagnosed with HIV infection, despite the availability of prevention methods and strategies to educate, test, and care for people living with the disease. New treatments as well as prevention methods are needed to fight the HIV epidemic in this country." [...]   

The Partners PrEP trial was conducted in 4,758 heterosexual couples where one partner was HIV-infected and the other was not (serodiscordant couples). The trial evaluated the efficacy and safety of Truvada and tenofovir versus placebo in preventing HIV infection in the uninfected male or female partner. Results showed Truvada reduced the risk of becoming infected by 75 percent compared with placebo.

First Active Duty Military Openly In Pride Parade- July 16, 2011

From Reuters:

A group of U.S. service members marched in a San Diego gay pride parade on Saturday, in a demonstration organizers touted as an unprecedented step for gay and lesbian military personnel under the Pentagon's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

The military contingent in the parade numbered about 250 people, and the former Navy operations specialist who brought the group together said many are currently in the military, while the rest are veterans. They dressed in civilian clothes.

Utah Dems Elect State's First Gay Chair- July 16, 2011

From the Salt Lake City Tribune:

Utah Democrats made history Saturday afternoon, electing Jim Dabakis as state party chairman by a wide margin. He is believed to be the state's first openly gay major party leader[...]

Dabakis, who is an art dealer and co-founder of both the Utah Pride Center and Equality Utah, said his election shows how fair-minded the people of Utah are.

"I visited all 29 counties during the last five months, and people were very interested in what kind of a job I would do and what my experience was," Dabakis said. "The whole gay thing just simply did not surface as an issue. People are broad-minded in Utah, and they want to know if you can do the job or not."

Young Republicans File Complaint Against Tammy Baldwin- July 16, 2010

From Joe.MyGod:

Openly lesbian Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) has received so many death threats from God’s Gentle People™ that since 1998 the state has allowed her to list her campaign office address rather than her home address when filing to run for office. So now the Young Republicans of Wisconsin have filed a challenge to Baldwin’s eligibility to run for not using her voting address, claiming that she doesn’t live in the district she represents. They’d rather see her murdered.

Below is the official Complaint.

Programming Update

I'm gonna switch things up a little. If I like it I'll continue, if not, then not. Or it just might be too much of a commitment.

I am going to try to do a daily feature where I publish modern gay history. It will be a daily recap of the events that have shaped the community since around 2005.

Happy No Taxation without Representation Day

Happy 4th of July.

And as always Free DC! Ah shit it's raining! But I want the pretty lights...


Liam '16

Breathe... Just Remember to Breathe

I've despised Donald Trump since I first knew who he was. He's a greasy, borish bourgeois, orange asshole. I haven't written about him, probably because I despise him so much, that nothing productive would come from it.

He's one of the first birthers. I hear from friends that they believe that his political persona is simply an act; however it is now over 8 years old. He's racist, xenophobic, homophobic, bleh.

Now add Anti-Semitic. Go read the Mic.com story if you haven't already. The photo below was reposted from there.

Yep. Seriously. Jesus Fuck. It's not a sheriff's badge; it's a repost from a skinhead. Mother fuck. Roughly 40% of Americans would vote for that slimy shit stain.

40 fucking percent. Take a look to your left, Take a look to your right. One of those mother fuckers will vote for someone that frequently repost Neo-Nazi propaganda. Ohne Scheiß!

I get heart palpitations over that. I shit you not.

Fuck! This is the point where I start to hyperventilate, until I realize that we have no real equivalent to the SA.


Liam '16

The Bees and The Bees

Recently a real world friend of mine and I were talking (yes I have one of those.)  We were at that point of our friendship where she starting to see me as actually gay instead of a-- to paraphrase QAF--- a ball-less, sexless, gay eunuch.

During our conversation, she brought up that she has never tried anal. We ended up not going into it, but later I realized that she might have been asking for advice.

It also brought up memories that of how anti-gay my state-school-provided sex ed really was. (There was no mention of homosexuality, and my teacher referred to anal sex as being demeaning towards women.)

The following is designated to be a virgin's guide to anal sex. Essentially I came up with this as the cheat sheets that I wish I had a few years ago. Hopefully you can find it useful whether you're gay or straight.

But if I ever have to give my sage like guidance and boil it down into one sentence, it would be:


Masturbate with a dildo before trying anal sex; also think about getting poppers if you find it difficult to relax.


The Forewords:

1. I have a prostate; women tend not to have those. From my personal experience, anal sex is enjoyable because of my prostate. If you don't have a prostate, I don't know if you will enjoy it. All I can offer is years of learning and experience. Please keep an open mind.

2. If you don't want to do anal, you won't enjoy it. There is no "fake it 'til you make it": only pain. Related to that point, if you don't feel well on a particular day, don't do it. It might be painful, or you just might shit on a dude.

3. If you want to try it, you will need to prepare: not just for the first time, but every time.

4. I don't have a vagina, but I know that it's not vaginal sex. Respect the anus for what it's worth. That means don't just start shoving shit up there. Make sure your partner understands that anal sex is a shared gift (I don't know if there is a word to describe what I mean), but it is not an entitlement. Your partner does not deserve sex; they do not need sex; they are allowed to have sex with you. They need to be gentle, understanding, a good listener, and appreciative of your needs.

Basic Sex Ed

Hygiene:

1.  Poop. Yes, scat comes out of the anus. To really enjoy anal sex, you'll need to poop before you do it. I usually need 15 minutes to "reset" afterwards.

2. Wipe down. I use wet wipes to get extra clean. Some people warn to avoid wipes with alcohol or fragrance but I've never had a problem.

3. Douche. Or not. I'm not a doctor; I don't know if this is bad for your body. I have done this; it helps me feel like I'm not going to poop on my partner. If you douche, you need to give your body a chance to rebuild the mucus lining on your colon. It's recommended that you wait 2 hours afterwards to have sex.

4. Take a shower.  Do I need to explain this one. It will also help relax you. Brush your teeth, put on deodorant, and wear fresh undies (in my experience, this ones more for the guys.)

5. Keep tissues by the bedside.

6. Choose a hand for lubricating your anus and toys, and a hand specifically for your genitals.


Protection:

1. Condoms every time!

2. Even if you are monogamous, you still can get a number of infections; so, always wear a condom. Allergic to latex: latex free condoms. You don't like how they smell: orange scented condoms. Your partner doesn't like how it feels on their cock: internal condoms. You like a little pizazz in your display: colored condoms.

3. Condoms every time! (Change condoms if you decide to change orifice.)


Lubrication:

1. Lubrication is as necessary of a component for safer sex as is a condom. Condoms fail without condom safe lubrication. Silicone is my preference as it doesn't get absorbed by the skin. If I am masturbating, I use a water-based lubricant because I use a silicone toy. You will need to stop at some point and reapply lube because it will be absorbed by the rectum. NEVER USE AN OIL BASED LUBE! It will destroy the condom; it can also lead to an infection on its own.

2. Have you ever had a sunburn on the inside of your rectum? That's what anal sex feels like without enough lubrication. So to recap; lube is necessary for enjoyment and safety.

3. Do you have enough lubrication? The answer is, if you're asking that question, you do not have enough lube.

4. Treat yourself! The better the lube; the better the experience. Find a brand you love and always keep it with you. (I have a bug-out bag for one night stands complete with my favorite lube, condoms, and toothbrush.)

What Your High School Instructor Didn't Teach You:

Masturbation:

1. Before even trying anal sex, masturbate by yourself. You need to learn the mechanics of anal sex before you should even consider letting someone into your body. Masturbation also allows you to find out what is and what isn't enjoyable.

2. Get as turned on as you possibly can. For me, I turn on sexy music, I light candles, I turn on porn, and I sniff poppers. (For straight reads, poppers are nitrite compounds that are inhaled. Do not drink them. Do not use them with alcohol or Viagra. Open the cap and sniff the vapors. Don't get the solution on your skin as it burns. If you're going to do them, try them before hand to understand how it will affect your body. It instantly relaxes my anus, and honestly makes me lose my mind while having sex.) Oh yes, also relax.

3. Start small and simple, and move on from there. If a particular toy comes in three sizes go with the small one. I prefer a dildo that I can ride while stimulating my other genitals; some people prefer a plug that stays in place while they stimulate their genitals. I would also suggest starting with a toy that lacks texture or ridges while learning your body.

4. Use a non-porous silicone toy. It's easy to clean. With a larger toy, I finger myself first, before moving to the larger toy.


Entrance:

1. Relax.

2. Push out. One method is to clench your anus for 15 seconds, until you can't hold it any longer and then push out. (This is where learning your body with a toy helps.)

3. Breathe out.

4. Take control. Especially if it is your first time, control the pace of entry, either controlling your partner with your hand or pushing yourself back into their cock. If there is minor pain, readjust your position. Sometimes it helps to pull out and try it again. If pain continues, stop.

Once again this is why masturbating first helps. If there is pain, you either need more lube, more foreplay, or you need to just flat out stop.


Position:

1. There is no right answer, but the right position for you will make a world of difference.

2. I prefer being on top as it gives me greater control of pacing and timing. I am more likely to orgasm when it is appropriate when I'm on top.

3. If you are comfortable enough to continue having sex, explore and find your position.


TL; DR- Masturbate with a dildo before trying anal sex; also think about getting poppers if you find it difficult to relax.


Additional Reading:

1. Dangerouslilly.com on silicone toys.

2. Vice.com on poppers.

3. Goaskalice.columbia.edu on lube.


Liam '16