Perhaps I was a coward, at the time I thought I was simply being a courteous guest, but I said nothing. As far as I know I was the only gay person at this small get-together. I really didn't want to spoil everyone else night, so I just let it go. The city I live in, I have never had a problem being gay before. People are out, and others are tolerant. There really isn't much of a gay scene here, because there is no need for one. Gay and straight are pretty much the same thing. So that has led me to the point where I am not closeted, yet I do not go around introducing myself as Liam the Homosexual. That is not who I am, just as a straight guy doesn't go around introducing himself as Harry the Heterosexual. Because I am not a massive walking stereotype, people just assume that I am straight.
I can take a joke, as well as I can dish them out. If someone jokes about my sexuality, and it comes from a good place, then alright. However when someone makes a joke and then says "It's not alright with me, and I would tell them to get the fuck out," then I cannot deal with that.
At the time I now wished I had started telling straight jokes. But once again I didn't want to make it into a bigger deal, and secondly I didn't know any jokes.
The gay people I know, do not tell anti-straight-jokes. When you live on the side that is being oppressed you typically are sensitive to the larger issue. When you have your sexuality mocked, mocking other people's sexuality is pretty much the last thing you want to do. It typically just adds more hate. I looked online to see if I could find any jokes to use as retorts, but I didn't find many; so I decided just to write some myself. I am sure they are similar to other jokes you may have heard, but what the hell.
I have known people that use the word breeder. For the first time, I feel like I get why.
These are only to be used to champion justice, never bigotry.
Q: What’s the difference between a straight man and a
vibrator?
A: The vibrator lasts more than 5 minutes.
Q: Why are hetero women always left unsatisfied?
A: Straight men never ask for directions to the G-spot.
Q: How many straight men does it take to bring out the
trash?
A: One man and his wife to bitch at him for an entire week
to do it.
Q: What’s straight and satisfying?
A: Nothing.
Q: Why did the straight man cross the road?
A: Because he was tired of his wife’s nagging.
Q: Why did the straight woman cross the road?
A: To escape domestic abuse.
Q: Why don’t gays date women?
A: We don’t trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn’t
die.
Q: What do you get when you cross two 15 year olds and box
of wine coolers?
A: A baby and a life-time of flipping burgers.
Q: What’s the difference between a straight man and a piece
of shit?
A: A piece of shit doesn’t beat his wife.
Q: Why are homophobic jokes typically so short?
A: So that breeders can remember them.
Q: Why are homophobic jokes typically so short?
A: Because nothing a straight man does ever lasts for more
than 5 seconds.
Q: How does a straight woman know she’s dreaming?
A: She orgasms in the dream.
Q: What’s the difference between a straight man and a pig?
A: You can kill and eat the pig.
Perhaps more to come.
Liam '12
Freedom Just For Me
Perhaps more to come.
Liam '12
Freedom Just For Me
