Thursday, March 27, 2014

Last Year Today...

On March 27, 2013 the United States Supreme Court heard the oral arguments for United States v. Windsor which went on to strike down portions of the Defense of Marriage Act. So today, in honor of precedent I am celebrating (on a work day. Sacre tabarnak!) with a quick refresher of the details.

Ironically, Scalia provided the "so called Homosexual Agenda" (dun-duh dah!) a pathway for future judicial victories by writing dicta in his dissent:

In my opinion, however, the view that this Court will take of state prohibition of same-sex marriage is indicated beyond mistaking by today's opinion. As I have said, the real rationale of today's opinion, whatever disappearing trail of its legalistic argle-bargle one chooses to follow, is that DOMA is motivated by "`bare ... desire to harm'" couples in same-sex marriages. Supra, at 2691. How easy it is, indeed how inevitable, to reach the same conclusion with regard to state laws denying same-sex couples marital status. Consider how easy (inevitable) it is to make the following substitutions in a passage from today's opinion ante, at 2694

Thanks! I'm guessing Scalia popped an anger boner when he saw his quote magically appear in Kitchen v. Herbert:

The Constitution’s protection of the individual rights of gay and lesbian citizens is equally dispositive whether this protection requires a court to respect a state law, as in Windsor, or strike down a state law, as the Plaintiffs ask the court to do here. In his dissenting opinion, the Honorable Antonin Scalia recognized that this result was the logical outcome of the Court’s ruling in Windsor:

In my opinion, however, the view that this Court will take of state prohibition of same-sex marriage is indicated beyond mistaking by today’s opinion. As I have said, the real rationale of today’s opinion . . . is that DOMA is motivated by “bare . . . desire to harm” couples in same-sex marriages. How easy it is, indeed how inevitable, to reach the same conclusion with regard to state laws denying same- sex couples marital status.

133 S. Ct. at 2709 (citations and internal quotation marks omitted). The court agrees with Justice Scalia’s interpretation of Windsor and finds that the important federalism concerns at issue here are nevertheless insufficient to save a state-law prohibition that denies the Plaintiffs their rights to due process and equal protection under the law. 

Of course Utah wasn't the only jurisdiction to recognize marriage equality since last year.



Marriage, Equality, Windsor, Victory
Marriage After Windsor


I'm out of time. So just imagine that there is something more clever in the map... like sloppy gay sex scenes superimposed in the background.

Since Windsor, there have been legislative victories in the following States:

Rhode Island
Delaware
Minnesota
New Jersey
Illinois
Hawaii

More importantly court victories in these States:

California
Utah
New Mexico
Oklahoma 
Texas
Virginia
Kentucky
Michigan

And more to come...  But as for me, it's now time for beer then bed.


Liam '14

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Joy Division

Bad news. Vernita Gray died on Tuesday March 18, 2014 in her home in Chicago after succumbing to cancer. Ms. Gray made national headlines late last November when she married Pat Ewert becoming the first couple to get gay married in Illinois, even though marriage equality was to be promulgated on June 1, 2014.

In an article by Carla K. Johnson for ABC News, the circumstances are explained:

Gray's failing health and her wish to marry persuaded a federal judge to order that an expedited marriage license be granted to the couple ahead of the June 1 effective date of the state's gay marriage law. A subsequent judge's ruling then paved the way for more same-sex couples to marry early in some Illinois counties.

Gray worked for gay rights for decades, advocating for same-sex marriage long before many other activists saw it as a possibility, Bennett said. To win over conservatives, she made the case that her Social Security survivor benefits should go to her partner, and her knack for working with people across the political spectrum "made everyone feel that they had a unique contribution to move us forward," Bennett said.

A former restaurant owner, Gray worked for the Cook County state's attorney's office for 18 years, assisting crime victims and witnesses. 



An important piece to the marriage debate that never seems to be answered is "What is marriage?" A few miles north of Chicago, the State of Wisconsin defines it through Wis. Stat. § 765.01.:

Marriage, so far as its validity at law is concerned, is a civil contract, to which the consent of the parties capable in law of contracting is essential, and which creates the legal status of husband and wife.

Marriage is a contract.

Like all contracts, the purpose of marriage is to end disputes. When two people cannot agree about anything else (the sky is blue; NO it’s azure!) they must agree to predetermined terms and conditions as prescribed by state statute.

When life is going well, there is no real need for marriage. It doesn’t take the state to determine who takes the trash out on Tuesday or who cooks dinner on Wednesday. It’s not a document that means forever and ever puppy dog love. If you want one of those, go buy a box of crayons and doodle on a piece of printer paper, then send it off to your preferred spiritual leader to blow smoke up your ass, since that’s not marriage.

Marriage is a contract. A contract to settle disputes over property and responsibilities.

Anyone dumb enough to say the state should be removed from the marriage business should wrap their dick in tinfoil and stick it in an electric outlet. The government is the arbiter of contracts; therefore it is necessarily needed to be involved in contracts. And as polygamy is not legal in the United States (nor is there a structural basis for it), it is necessary to have marriage license to verify the marriage as being valid.

Marriage is what happens to the house when one spouse dies. Wis. Stat. § 766.605.:

A homestead acquired after the determination date which, when acquired, is held exclusively between spouses with no 3rd party is survivorship marital property if no intent to the contrary is expressed on the instrument of transfer or in a marital property agreement. A homestead may be reclassified under s. 766.31 (10).

Marriage is what happens when the husband kidnaps the children and flees across state lines. Wis. Stat. § 767.105(3)(a).:

Except as provided in par. (b), a party who violates any provision of sub. (1) may be proceeded against under ch. 785 for contempt of court.

Marriage is what happens when a wife’s sole proprietorship collapses into debt. Wis. Stat. § 766.55.:

(1)   An obligation incurred by a spouse during marriage, including one attributable to an act or omission during marriage, is presumed to be incurred in the interest of the marriage or the family. A statement separately signed by the obligated or incurring spouse at or before the time the obligation is incurred stating that the obligation is or will be incurred in the interest of the marriage or the family is conclusive evidence that the obligation to which the statement refers is an obligation in the interest of the marriage or family, except that the existence of that statement does not affect any interspousal right or remedy.

(2)(a) An obligation incurred by a spouse in the interest of the marriage or the family may be satisfied only from all marital property and all other property of the incurring spouse.

Taking the state out of marriage removes widows out of deceased spouses’ homes. It makes dividing property in divorce even more unbearable. It takes away a creditors ability to collect on debts.

Gays will get sick. I myself will die one day. Being a misanthrope I don’t give a shit what happens to my possessions, but I respect others to make up their minds. Gays go bankrupt. Gays get divorced and need to divide shared property.

Gays need marriage. Now.




Liam ‘14

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Our Inheritance

I have inherited a shared history that does not come from my mother or my father. It is a rich culture with a devastating history of genocide, discrimination, and an undying animus aimed against it.  If evolution is descent with modification, gay history is more similar to Prokaryotic Horizontal Gene Transfer. It is not a history taught by parents to gaylings but one that is acquired later through life, either by discussion or literacy or life experience.

It is an understanding that gay men of certain age have lost nearly all of their friends to a virus. It’s realizing that governments have and will continue to round up people like myself and executing them in cruel and humiliating ways. It’s understanding the struggle just simply to avoid being arrested by the police for simply existing. It’s knowing that simply existing is a political statement.

It’s sitting down and devouring Christopher and His Kind. It’s pretending you’re dating Frank O’Hara every time you crack open Meditation’s in an Emergency. It’s empathy for men similar to yourself and the desire to learn about them. It’s wondering why same-sex marriage is still not permit in many states.

It’s in this vein of anaphora that I found the cases germane to Perry v. Hollingsworth and United States v. Windsor.

Perhaps one of the most famous legal cases in LGBT history is Baker v. Nelson. Claire Bowes with the BBC wrote a wonderful piece describing the background of the case. Here is a brief background into the case:

Going public about your sexual orientation could cost you your home, your job and your family.

Baker and McConnell didn't fit the stereotype. Both in their late 20s - clean cut and with short, neat hair - Baker was a law student and McConnell a librarian. They'd been together for four years when they first applied for a marriage licence in 1970.

This was rejected - on the grounds that they were both men. But the couple decided to fight. They appealed, and kept on appealing until the case reached the US Supreme Court. It was the first time the court had been asked to rule on gay marriage - but it refused to hear the case "for want of a substantial federal question".


Read the rest of the article. Here is how the background is described by J. Peterson writing for the Minnesota State Supreme Court in Baker v. Nelson, 191 N.W.2d 185 (Minn. 1971):

Petitioners, Richard John Baker and James Michael McConnell, both adult male persons, made application to respondent, Gerald R. Nelson, clerk of Hennepin County District Court, for a marriage license, pursuant to Minn.St. 517.08. Respondent declined to issue the license on the sole ground that petitioners were of the same sex, it being undisputed that there were otherwise no statutory impediments to a heterosexual marriage by either petitioner.

The trial court, quashing an alternative writ of mandamus, ruled that respondent was not required to issue a marriage license to petitioners and specifically directed that a marriage license not be issued to them. This appeal is from those orders. We affirm.

While the Baker case is an interesting read, I feel like it has been discussed and analyzed and dissected so many times that I cannot add much to it.  I have posted a copy of the Minnesota SupremeCourt decision on my website. It is actually a short document that is fairly easy to understand without much legal reasoning. Most of the decision is quite familiar. To me it is frustrating but not overly offensive in tone.

If I ever write on Baker again, it will probably be more about how the US Supreme Court denied certiorari, and how the right wing lost the legal battle by campaigning for anti-gay state amendments.    

What I am more interested is in the companion case.



Jack Baker’s husband, Michael McConnell, was scheduled to become a librarian for the University of Minnesota. Then he had the audacity to get married… to a man… I mean can you imagine what temerity and political grandstandingness it takes to be an outspoken radical by getting married to a consenting human being… I mean seriously, the balls it takes, and did Mr. McConnell just think the University would sit there and allow one of its soon to be employees to get married. I mean for fuck sake who gets married besides communist radicals? So they shit-canned his ass just like what any Good Christian Institute would do, right. Because there’s nothing that’ll butch up a limped wristed Nancy quite like taking away any means of feeding themselves.

All this joking around has inadvertently made me physically angry about this case and the severe injustice of it all. I know that it happened 40 years ago and everything worked out for Mr. McConnell and Mr. Baker but still.  I’m going to go drink a beer and come back when I don’t want to anger-puke anymore over the background of the case. I mean for fuck sake, getting fired over getting married uggh what the verdammtes Arschloch… du  Arschbackengesicht… idoitische… blöder Scheißkerl.. kannst mich im Goethe lecken.

Ok. back. sorry.

The U.S. 8th Circuit Court of Appeals decide McConnell v. Anderson on October 18, 1971 and is penned by Judge Stephenson.

In addition to the allegations above, his complaint asserted that he was a homosexual and that the Board's resolution not to approve his employment application was premised on the fact of his homosexuality and upon his desire, as exemplified by the marriage license incident, specifically to publicly profess his "earnest" belief that homosexuals are entitled to privileges equal to those afforded heterosexuals.

Umm.. aren't we though. Entitlement to privileges isn't a bad thing; it’s kinda what America is centered around; that is freedom. I don’t know why there has to be a use of scare quotes here with his earnest belief. And furthermore, if you are trying to say UMN acted properly and in accordance to the law, shouldn't the Court be saying McConnell wrongly believes that homosexuals are entitled to fewer privileges. Because the way it is stated, it seems that the Court is suggesting that gays are entitled to fewer privileges and so what. It’s not like we have a 14th amendment or an Article IV or anything. 

It suffices merely to stress, by way of summary, that McConnell apparently is well-educated and otherwise able, possessing both an academic degree and a master's degree;

Well this is a hot way to start off. Mr. McConnell is well-educated. That is a fact. It is not subjective. It is demonstrated by his master’s degree.The use of apparently is just a teenesy bit offensive in this circumstance.

McConnell and a friend referred to in the record as "Jack Baker" encountered Dr. Hopp and informed him of their intention to obtain a license to marry; that during this conversation Dr. Hopp expressed concern that such an occurrence might well jeopardize favorable consideration of McConnell's employment application; that about three hours later on the same day, McConnell and Jack Baker appeared at the Hennepin County Clerk's office and made formal application for the license;

Well, I for one am glad that you cleared up how Mr. Baker and Mr. McConnell are associated. There is nothing condescending or douchey about calling a person’s husband just a “Friend.” Secondly, McConnell was a librarian, not a stripper at some Podunk nudy-bar. Getting married is his prerogative. Well according to Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967): “The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men. Marriage is one of the `basic civil rights of man,' fundamental to our very existence and survival.” It would appear under this logic that denial of employment from a State Actor would be arbitrary and capricious. But what did the Warren Court know about the Constitution.

It is McConnell's position that the Board's decision not to approve his employment application reflects "a clear example of the unreasoning prejudice and revulsion some people feel when confronted by a homosexual." That being so, he argues that the Board's action was arbitrary and capricious and thus violative of his constitutional rights. We do not agree.

Thanks asshole. Would you care to elaborate on how the Board of Asshats Regents’ decision wasn't based on discrimination:

It is, instead, a case in which something more than remunerative employment is sought; a case in which the applicant seeks employment on his own terms; a case in which the prospective employee demands, as shown both by the allegations of the complaint and by the marriage license incident as well, the right to pursue an activist role in implementing his unconventional ideas concerning the societal status to be accorded homosexuals and, thereby, to foist tacit approval of this socially repugnant concept upon his employer, who is, in this instance, an institution of higher learning.

Once again fired for getting married. Apparently getting married is socially repugnant… who knew. Also how was Mr. McConnell seeking employment on his own terms? What a fucking asshole, what happened did Judge Stephenson forget to up his Klan membership or something so he had to compensate. I have poured through many cases, but few have dripped so deeply with contempt and bigotry.

We know of no constitutional fiat or binding principle of decisional law which requires an employer to accede to such extravagant demands.[8] We are therefore unable fairly to categorize the Board's action here as arbitrary, unreasonable or capricious.

Once again man gets married. Man gets fired for getting married. How is that an extravagant demand? After reading this case, I think I may have been transported to an alternate dimension. I think it’s call the Planet of the Douchebags. It’s an upside down world where Douchebags rule men.


Anyway, I want to say congratulations to Mr. Baker and Mr. McConnell. It only took them 40 years to become the first legally married gay couple in America.

Liam '14

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Reboot

If Spider-Man can reboot then so can I.

But first a brief update while I do the laundry. Since my last post (1.5 years ago) I have moved 5 times. So yes, I have had almost no time to write (well beside that one book that I wrote that will never be published.)

But excused are like butts, everyone has one and they're really fun to play with... I mean the buck stops here or some other cliche. My plan for now is to write a post a week as I am currently working 11 hours a day (well 9 hours and 2 hours of commuting time).  I am also locked down with a NCC that I signed, so I probably won't be moving in the near time (not that it would necessarily be enforceable).


Liam '14

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Cartoon of the Day

Here's a cartoon on debates in America. Enjoy.













Blah Blah Blah, Chick-Fil-A, Blah Blah Blah, Fox News Radio, Blah Blah Blah Heterophobic Blah. Anyway that's what I think about that. The word 'heterophobic' bothers me for two reasons. First it is an incorrect use of the word, Hetero means the opposite (sex), and Phobia means afraid. So heterophobia should mean a gay person's fear of straight people. And trust me gay people have plenty to fear from the straight community. But in this case it means hatred. See gays are supposed to scare the heteros because the gayzez hate the straight people because of AIDS or some bullshit. Secondly it generates a false dichotomy. Demanding equality is not a sign of disdain for the hetero community. Push back from the gay community looks very different than the anti-gay violence from homophobes.  Furthermore it pushes a wedge between the communities, not all straight people are opposed to gay rights. It implies that the gays are trying to take something away from the straight community, when in reality, it is a select few homophobes who are trying to keep civil rights away from the gay community.

Liam '12

Freedom Just For Me

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Lost History

I have been doing some research (Photoshopping) American history and have discovered some shocking photos lost to history. 


1

Sorry president Obama, Abraham Lincoln holds the title for being the first gay president. Gaybraham Lincoln, as he was known to the fellas at the bar, scored it with more than four men if you know what I mean. Notice how perfectly his tie, suit, and shirt are accented by his lapel pin.

2

Winston Churchill was known for his brash retorts and quick wits; however when he couldn't think of anything better to say, he would just tell people to "sod off." 


3

 Not only did he conquer Germany, but he also overcame polio.  Most people think that Oppenheimer was working on the A-Bomb, but really the Manhattan Project was a facility in Soho which manufactured the world's first Hoverounds.

4

People think that Mitt Romney was a Pro-war draft dodger.  But I discovered that he honorable served his country on a PT Boat. Being a secret government program, the fifteen foot tall M.I.T.T. was a genetically engineered humanoid designed to give stump-speeches to the Vietcong.   The program was decommission after it was discovered that Mitt's speeches caused scrotal cancer to our own troops.

5



In this portrait you should notice two things: first George Washington invented the pimp cane; second, he brought back the codpiece with limited success. It is a little known fact that the First President of the United States, George Washington, was a codpiece enthusiast.  He carried a mass collection of famous codpieces from histories biggest names. His most prized codpiece was King Henry VIII's coronation piece, which Washington wore frequently for good luck and without perhaps America would not exist today. So thanks a lot Henry, thanks a lot.


6


Here's a strange photo from the Nixon Library.  Nixon always wanted to meet his hero Elvis Costello. Elvis Costello agreed on the condition that he could call Nixon "Tricky Dick." The audio tapes would exist; however according to Costello, Nixon erased the footage after a series of antisemitic rants that even Nixon regretted saying.  Notice, Costello is dressed in his famous "fat Elvis" era suit.


Liam '12

Freedom Just For Me

Friday, July 20, 2012

Retorts and Straight Jokes

A while ago I went to a party at a friend of a friend's house.  I had never met the guy before, but hey, he was kind enough to let me into his house.  I was having a very good time; there was plenty of food and really good beer. The conversation was perhaps a little dull as most of the people there worked at the same office. Everything was going great until later on in the evening the host started telling unprovoked gay jokes.

Perhaps I was a coward, at the time I thought I was simply being a courteous guest, but I said nothing. As far as I know I was the only gay person at this small get-together. I really didn't want to spoil everyone else night, so I just let it go. The city I live in, I have never had a problem being gay before.  People are out, and others are tolerant. There really isn't much of a gay scene here, because there is no need for one. Gay and straight are pretty much the same thing. So that has led me to the point where I am not closeted, yet I do not go around introducing myself as Liam the Homosexual. That is not who I am, just as a straight guy doesn't go around introducing himself as Harry the Heterosexual. Because I am not a massive walking stereotype, people just assume that I am straight.

I can take a joke, as well as I can dish them out.  If someone jokes about my sexuality, and it comes from a good place, then alright. However when someone makes a joke and then says "It's not alright with me, and I would tell them to get the fuck out," then I cannot deal with that.

At the time I now wished I had started telling straight jokes. But once again  I didn't want to make it into a bigger deal, and secondly I didn't know any jokes.

The gay people I know, do not tell anti-straight-jokes.  When you live on the side that is being oppressed you typically are sensitive to the larger issue. When you have your sexuality mocked, mocking other people's sexuality is pretty much the last thing you want to do.  It typically just adds more hate. I looked online to see if I could find any jokes to use as retorts, but I didn't find many; so I decided just to write some myself.  I am sure they are similar to other jokes you may have heard, but what the hell.

I have known people that use the word breeder.  For the first time, I feel like I get why.

These are only to be used to champion justice, never bigotry.


Q: What’s the difference between a straight man and a vibrator?
A: The vibrator lasts more than 5 minutes.

Q: Why are hetero women always left unsatisfied?
A: Straight men never ask for directions to the G-spot.

Q: How many straight men does it take to bring out the trash?
A: One man and his wife to bitch at him for an entire week to do it.  

Q: What’s straight and satisfying?
A: Nothing.

Q: Why did the straight man cross the road?
A: Because he was tired of his wife’s nagging.

Q: Why did the straight woman cross the road?
A: To escape domestic abuse.

Q: Why don’t gays date women?
A: We don’t trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn’t die.

Q: What do you get when you cross two 15 year olds and box of wine coolers?
A: A baby and a life-time of flipping burgers.

Q: What’s the difference between a straight man and a piece of shit?
A: A piece of shit doesn’t beat his wife.

Q: Why are homophobic jokes typically so short?
A: So that breeders can remember them.

Q: Why are homophobic jokes typically so short?
A: Because nothing a straight man does ever lasts for more than 5 seconds.

Q: How does a straight woman know she’s dreaming?
A: She orgasms in the dream.

Q: What’s the difference between a straight man and a pig?
A: You can kill and eat the pig.

Perhaps more to come.

Liam '12

Freedom Just For Me